btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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