rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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