she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
