i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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