sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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