yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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