Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we're making bets on your personal life
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
