I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
