In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
