I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
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Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
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He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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