on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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