I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
farters have to be the big spoon...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
