Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
