Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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