I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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