I want to make a zoo with you.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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