I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My vagina is very pro this idea
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
