I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED