Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he's a keeper

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  (570): so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours. (609): he's a keeper http://tfl.nu/09kq
  Replies (29) Good night (5369) Bad night (591)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...

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  (636): this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for... http://tfl.nu/dqoy
  Replies (17) Good night (4361) Bad night (681)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet

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  (571): I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet http://tfl.nu/qd88
  Replies (25) Good night (4040) Bad night (619)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.

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  (414): Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her. http://tfl.nu/4z7e
  Replies (12) Good night (4585) Bad night (1133)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"

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  (508): Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic" http://tfl.nu/1wpy
  Replies (30) Good night (2423) Bad night (3033)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future

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  (330): He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future http://tfl.nu/ji9u
  Replies (8) Good night (801) Bad night (3621)
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  (760): View more from California

  BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY

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  (760): BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY http://tfl.nu/9dad
  Replies (3) Good night (2561) Bad night (553)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"

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  (732): you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito" http://tfl.nu/4p4o
  Replies (5) Good night (2414) Bad night (636)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent

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  (+44): In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent http://tfl.nu/3kq5
  Replies (12) Good night (3716) Bad night (859)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?

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  (914): Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun? http://tfl.nu/1gt4
  Replies (10) Good night (2263) Bad night (421)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.

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  (813): This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny. http://tfl.nu/7jk5
  Replies (8) Good night (1794) Bad night (468)
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  (530): View more from California

  .......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.

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  (530): .......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space. http://tfl.nu/f94k
  Replies (11) Good night (829) Bad night (1227)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.

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  (202): That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/sklt
  Replies (6) Good night (2367) Bad night (458)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.

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  (727): I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon. http://tfl.nu/enfa
  Replies (10) Good night (438) Bad night (369)
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  (562): View more from California

  So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch

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  (562): So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch http://tfl.nu/gm5w
  Replies (8) Good night (742) Bad night (258)

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