bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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