Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.