Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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