Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.

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(740): View more from Ohio

i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.

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(619): View more from California

you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top

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(650): View more from California

Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(502): View more from Kentucky

Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.

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(708): View more from Illinois

he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.

(1-708): View more from Illinois

ahaha ok

(708): View more from Illinois

let's call it "werewolfing"

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(815): View more from Illinois

Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"

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(810): View more from Michigan

I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.

(517): View more from Michigan

I've just been napping and sexting all day.

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