so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.