ADVERTISEMENT

• (678): View more from Georgia

  That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.

  Fav 10 2259 812

  share tweet
  

• (906): View more from Michigan

  rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.

  Fav 9 1231 4080

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (641): View more from Iowa

  she has no idea who harrison ford is.

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s

  Fav 52 966 3783

  share tweet
  

• (276): View more from Virginia

  Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles

  Fav 8 1106 5184

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic

  Fav 18 5812 1659

  share tweet
  

• (702): View more from Nevada

  I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.

  Fav 16 5196 1780

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (407): View more from Florida

  Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow

  Fav 5 3829 1126

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.

  Fav 3 1304 982

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.

  Fav 8 2278 1019

  share tweet
  
• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just can't deal with that sentence

  Fav 3 2013 868

  share tweet
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.

  Fav 5 849 604

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...

  Fav 4 876 651

  share tweet
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.

  Fav 3 1035 654

  share tweet
  

• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will have no part of this.

  Fav 3 575 1108

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (941): View more from Florida

  I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking

  Fav 0 232 130

  share tweet
  

Randomize