Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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