If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
