Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
