then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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