Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
