That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
