There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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