we made out on top of his cat.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
