how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
