I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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