Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
someone owes me an orgasm
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
