He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
