he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
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considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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