I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
