so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so let's talk penis.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
