He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
