Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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