fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
