I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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