Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
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Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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