we're blogging at a bar
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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