WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Randomize
