so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
