I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
