I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
