your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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