I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
