There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
