this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
