Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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