Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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