I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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