The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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