its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
