They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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