Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
