Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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