how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
