Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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