we have pet lesbian snakes
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
