My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
