I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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