My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
