Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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