you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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