I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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