Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize