...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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