she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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