She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
