"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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