please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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