Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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