haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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