Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Pooping to opera.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
