Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
