I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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