Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
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professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
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You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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