Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Screwed.edu
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
